Eating Your Emotions

This post has taken me a few days to write, I don’t know why. Maybe its because I have to deal with my emotions which is something I’m not good at or simply because I don’t want to deal with the problem at all.

Eating your emotions is not big, and its not clever.

Its what I did this weekend, and I am really not proud of my self.

I have come to realise over the years when I am about to start eating due to an emotional trigger, but this weekend it just got away from me and before I knew it I was eating a scone with cream (not a clever idea when your  lactose intolerant.) Following that, later on Saturday evening I shared a mixed kebab with the other half. Not quite content on limiting the damage to one day, I had another cream scone on Sunday evening.

Part of the issue of this weekend,  stems from the fact that my gran doesn’t seem to much like my other half.  But we don’t know if this is down to medication or just not liking him. This weeks problem probably started earlier in the week when I booked a table at a local restaurant for afternoon tea for 3, and a separate meal for me.  I asked repeatedly everyday if it was ok if he joined us, but come Saturday morning when he arrived to come with us she went into a mood, we decided to go any way but once at the restaurant she refused to speak to any one and continued along this line with refusals of a drink or something to eat. The waitress was coming over to ask for my order and I had to ask for more time as we continued to try and get her to take part in the meal.

In the end she wouldn’t.

I had to tell the waitress that she was unwell and that I would pay for the afternoon teas. Luckily the woman was very understanding and offered to box the teas up for us. When we got home, it ended up with me having to agree that on the weekends when we go out it will just be me, her and my mum as she seems to think we have an entourage, which has upset my other half no end because we have only just managed to organise his work so that he has weekends off. Also because I’m my grandmothers carer, I spend a lot of my time with her.

I’m devastated, I feel like I have been made to chose between him or her, I’m having to split my time between the two of them.  Also my parents are not here every weekend which means I dont time off every weekend so him being able to come out during the day with us was lovely because it meant I could see him. unfortunately I cant put my needs/wants before hers as its not fair to her.  I can understand that she is worried that she may be left if I ever decided to marry ect but that’s never been in my plans. I cant live in a situation where either of them is deeply unhappy though. I am hoping that once they have altered some medications the situation might be come more amicable.

But I didn’t deal with this situation well, I ate. Usually I clean when I’m upset, unhappy, or feel like I want to eat. But no amount of cleaning would save this situation. At one point in the day I felt that down I just wanted to be sick. What I cant get my head around is that she could be so nasty. I know the reasoning behind it but it doesn’t mean I have to accept it.

I have spent all this week trying to undo my emotional eating but well not sure how I have faired until Thursday but I have been eating my super free. I have been doing things on the PC this week and have had fruit in front of me to stop me snacking on crap, hopefully limiting the damage. I’m still trying to eat my anger and unhappiness, but I keep reigning my self back. Might go stand on the sea front and scream. It wont do any good but it might make me feel better.

 

 

Autumn

UniversityI love Autumn, the changing colours, the dip in temperature meaning I can wear a cardigan all the time, the darker nights. It also means that I am going back to University. I love education, there is something about knowledge, about expanding your mind, learning new things that makes me happy.

So last night I went to uni to re-enrol we do it online for the uni but my course is outsourced to a local college as its on a evening and its  a rather specialised course. We have to enrol at the college, and get our time tables for the next year and before I’ve even started they have changed the time table after printing it! I am looking forward to this year, I have to project manage something or someone, which will be interesting as it will require all my organisational skills and good communication skills, I have a 4 hour Networking Lecture/Lab on a Wednesday Evening, now I love Networking, I’m a bit of a geek when it comes to this, but 4 HOURS! its spilt into LAN and WAN but this is going to test all my concentration skills.

So this has got me thinking, since I’m going to be getting home two nights a week no earlier than 9:30PM using my slow cooker is going to be a good idea, it means that my family can take out their tea when they are hungry earlier but leave my tea in to keep warm, rather than my mum cooking two teas, one for them and then one for me. So yesterday I made the Irish Beef Stew in the slow cooker, and it was lovely. But on uni days I don’t have all the time in the world to set up my slow cooker and go to work ect and then uni, so I’ve been having a look about to see if there was a solution to this.  Now Asda, those lovely guys have been making some lovely vegetable packs that are either low syn or syn free, and you can either use them to add to your soups or slow cooker meals or use them just to make a quick and easy meal! Swish swoo! Because lets face it guys and gals, slow cookers are great but if all you want is a quick lunch or tea, then its not your best option. I have created a little picture that contains the syn values for the packs, but if I’m wrong please feel free to correct me and if you do make anything yummy let me know!

I’ve got the vegetable soup pack in the fridge to make up tomorrow for lunch, I am soo looking forward to this. asda veg packs

 

Oh and for those of you that are interested, today was weigh in day: 2 1/2 lbs off! that means in less than a week since being home(we got home late Sat/early Sunday) I’ve lost all but half a lb of the weight I gained while on holiday. I totally dont feel it. I feel really bloated and horrible. I’ve been feeling really icky the last couple of days just cant put my finger on it. Going forward I’ll hopefully feel better, plenty of fluids and some paracetamol and I shall be fine.

Hope to hear from you soon

LMC

X

Ooops?

I’m back! Did you miss me?

I had a lovely holiday, it was so nice and warm in Norfolk, but a comfortable warm. I got to spend quality time not just with my family but my boyfriend 🙂 and we walked and walked and walked. It was brilliant. Food wise not so good but I shall come to that.

I got my final uni results for my second year while we where away, I passed with more than flying colours YIPPPEEEE!!!! so that is one less weight off my mind and I have today re-enrolled online for my 3rd year 🙂 I go back on Wednesday. The other half and I spent the day together on Thursday the day I got my results, celebrating. We went to Great Yarmouth Sea-life Centre (BRILLIANT place with penguins!!!) and then went to an American Diner for lunch. We chose two items of the menu, a Steakwhich and a Smokey Joe burger which we ate half of each, but the portion sizes where that gigantic that we could of shared one item between us.

So onto food- as you all may remember the plan was to eat as much slimming world food as possible, which in theory was brilliant but in practice harder than I expected. We ate out a lot so I made as smarter menu choices as possible barring the Thursday simply because well I never go to American Diners and I only get uni results once or maybe twice a year.  The other half at one point banned me from eating salad because it is all he seems to see me eating lately. I don’t mind it but in the American Diner he asked that I order something that wasn’t  a salad.

I went and got weighed while I was away and I am so glad that I did. Now I had eaten about 2 hours before I got on the scales (stupid I know) but it was also the reminder that I needed to stop my self going completely out of control. I got on the scales and they said that I had gained 3lbs! I was actually proud of this, because it could of been a lot more, plus how many people go on holiday and go to a Slimming World group?

So from Friday 19th I have been eating mostly slimming world food, but I have been 100% on plan since Sunday, and boy do I feel better for it. although my skin seems to have took a battering for allowing rubbish into my diet as I seem to have had an outbreak of spots – just a tiny one.

I am now really excited for Thursday to get on the skills and see if I have managed to turn my gain around. Fingers crossed.

 

LMC

X

Just Do It.

 

This is going to be my motto for the next week. We go away on Monday and I’m slightly bricking it, sorry for the crudeness but well there it is. My plan is to eat as much Slimming World friendly as possible which shouldnt be to hard considering we are staying in a caravan but once out of the comforts of home, away from the millions of herbs and spices, and my cook books that my resolve will just melt. It got me into a bit of a panic, worrying about what I would eat while we where away, because it could all go horribly wrong and I go do some serious damage to my weight loss.

I have decided to go to a meeting on the Thursday as per normal, the only difference is this may effect my weight. I am considering taking with me some premade chicken nugget coating, so that should the mood take me I have this ready to make as all I will have to do is add egg. I’m going to stay away from frozen chips, and will try to eat rice or boiled new potatoes and eat meats that are simply not coated in stuff. I may even try to stuff some Chinese Five Spice into my handbag before I leave the house (I have previously been told off for the amount I pack)

I am however packing both my swimming stuff and my jogging stuff, even if I just walk around the park a few times it will all help in the goal towards getting my Gold Body Magic Award.

Now I’m not normally a desserts kinda girl, but I’m trying to use up the food that is in the house, luckily most of it is free or super free! So last night I made dessert, so while the other half and gran tucked into ice cream with chocolate sauce and broken up Cadburys minirolls (these are 6syns! so not worth it) I had this bad boy :

Oh my gosh was it lovely and guess how many syns??? Go on???? 1 SYN! Yes ladies and gentlemen IMG_0804you read that correctly, 1 syn for the whole thing. I used 2 Muller Light Greek Style Yoghurt, that are 1/2 syn each (I used the mango and a honeyed peach one, and surprisingly it was gorgeous) chopped up some nectarine, banana and strawberries and YUM!

Now I know I could of eaten it out of a bowl, but I dont know about you but that gets awfully boring fast, this just makes me feel like I am having a dessert like everyone else. These glasses are plastic and can be picked up in most 99p shops along with the spoons and are just a fun way to eat your desserts. If you wanted to you can crush up your Weetabix allowance for the day and this gives it some crunch and is actually tasty. I know people in our group who grate a Freddo (5Syns) over the top of their desserts but I just don’t have the patience to do this.

Annoyed.

angryToday has just been on of those days, you know those days. where everything annoys you.  I have had a head ache, and its not because I have not drank enough or ate enough but  simply because I am missing some medication but I cant take it. So the headache will persist for a couple of days as will the lack of sleep.

I had to venture into town to return a item of clothing with my brother so we decided while there to get some lunch, this was about 2:30. We decided that he and Gran would have Subway sandwiches and I would have a salad bowl(no dressings ect) but after starting to make the 2 sandwiches and then asking me what I wanted, advised me they had no Lettuce! How can SUBWAY, run out of LETTUCE?  I mean if they plan to be open all day would they not plan to have enough lettuce to last the day and not run out mid day? This meant that I got 2 sandwiches and then had to come home and make my own lunch. This turned out to be a good thing as I ended up with a grilled chicken breast coated in Chinese 5 Spice 🙂

So in July I bought a reconditioned Tefal Actifry, now I bought it from a Tefal shop and it came with a 12 month warranty otherwise I wouldn’t of touched it with a barge pole.  It worked perfectly up until about 2 weeks ago, when it started to make this horrible noise that meant there was something wrong with the motor. I phoned the store up and the lovely lady there just told me to bring it in and they would swap it over. Swish Swoo. A week later, my new one is doing the exact same thing!

This means that in the morning I now have to call the store again and tell them its doing the same thing – I’m a tad worried they are going to think its me, I should point out that I have access to two other Actifrys and neither of them have ever made this noise. I am also concerned that it could over heat as it sounds as though the fan isn’t working and I don’t need my kitchen setting alight.

 

 

Who Needs The Colonel?

All day I have been craving KFC. No idea why, maybe I just wanted chicken, maybe it was something greasy or just a culmination of the both. So I did what any good Slimming World member did and read my books, there where 2 recipes that took my fancy but I didn’t have all the ingredients for one of them (shock horror! this will be rectified) so I had to make the other which was Chicken Nuggets.

Now I love Chicken Nuggets…theres something about them that takes me back to my childhood. We where only ever allowed McDonalds as a treat or for a special occasion and by that I mean really special.  We didnt get the frozen types either so for me they make me feel about 7.  This recipe is simple, you cut chicken breast in to cubes, put it in beaten eggs and then roll it in breadcrumbs mixed with herbs and mustard. Well it was LUSH!

IMG_1085

 

While I was eating this lovely creation I was thinking how nice it would be if I could have them with BBQ beans like a proper KFC, so my little brain went into overdrive thinking that Heinz do a Barbecue beans, but is this free? Its not in a normal sauce, so I checked and guess what?

This little baby heinz bbq beans

IS TOTALLY FREE!!!!

Now I know what I’ve posted up there looks like loads of food, but at our group we work on the theory of feed your appetite. Well I am starving. or I was, I dont pick through the day, I generally eat 3 meals a day and that is it, I may have the odd piece of fruit but that is it. I could eat a smaller plateful but I’d be hungry and then I would end up eating the wrong things.

So as I mentioned the other day today is weigh in day, I had to do a run in and out job as I had the two invalids at home to look after and had to nip into town to get prescriptions  so I didn’t want to be out too long. I came in 2.5lbs lighter this is giving me a total loss of 6.5lbs in 2 weeks 🙂 Thats impressive, that is 0.5lbs off half a stone!

You can really see that I am losing weight on my face, I usually have chubby cheeks, but these seem to have disappeared over the last couple of weeks, I’m not complaining about this as I have always kinda hated this feature about myself. I always thought them hamster like. The one thing I cant wait to shrink is my arms, but I am dreading it at the same time, as I know how difficult it is to tone arms so cant help but feel that Bingo Wings may be inevitable, considering I don’t show my arms very often at the moment I’m not sure how this would effect me.

Oh So Tired.

I was really hoping that my B12 injection would work wonders and that I would feel warm, my nails would stop breaking, along with my hair and I would more than anything stop feeling like I need a nanna nap constantly.

Guess what?

It didnt work.

I am constantly tired still but I think this is more due to the fact that I am currently running around after both my mum and gran, usually one is bad enough! But at least its exercise? I never seem to sit down, if I’m not washing something, I’m getting something or cooking something or cleaning something up. I dont mean this as in a normal house work type way but in a looking after 2 grown women type way. Today I had a hospital appointment and a GP appointment as well as the weekly shop and this all meant lugging the wheel chair in and out of the car as well as manoeuvring it around the places.

Today, my lovely other half cooked me steak and actifry wedges for tea, having told me to bring salad with me and it was lovely 🙂 I really love some one cooking my tea for me and it was more special because someone was looking after me, even if it was as simple as making my tea. He’s a lovely man my other half, not only because he puts up with me but because he has turned into an amazing chef.

So weigh in is on Thursday and I dont know what to expect, I’m hoping for a loss, this way I will be happy no matter what the outcome.