Tiny rant!

So as I sat here tonight and munched on my DIam Mikado sticks (I’m seriously freezing these bad boys to make them last longer!) I was watching todays Loose Women and Plus Sized Wars.

Did you see em?

Loose women did  a segment trendy clothes for fat girls, that the high street is desiging for “fat and fabulous” and that these clothes are available in all high street clothes shops. The panel debated the issue with the women stating that they should only be availabe from “specialist shops” while saying that clothing stores should sell to the average women, They did say  that the stores should not be selling to size 0 either!.

But where do these women live?  It seriously cant be the real world?

Do they want us to sit about in the nuddy, not being valuable members of society because we cant leave the house. If we sit about in joggy bottoms and a tshirt they would slag us off for not making an effort, but lord help the fat girl that makes a bloody effort!

Also they are not available  in all of the high street, guess what you have to go to specialist shops or even the specialist ranges inside a shop because hey Top shop doesnt do fat, and not every high street has one.

Oh and the average British woman, shes a size 16…..

I personally dont think making trendy clothes will encourage kids to continue to be fat, I think it will allow them to go to the parties, the cinema, the park, like their friends are. It will allow them to do the things I couldnt do because when I was 13 and still had my “Puppy fat” they didnt do jeans in the size I needed just these horrid stretchy elastic trousers.

As I lose weight I love being able to buy smaller clothes but I’ve also been the size 26 girl who could only find a horrific looking dress that resembles a tent, and guess what? I dont wish that on any one.

So high street and designers if you want to embrace these girls and they are happy go for it. For when and if they want to change they will……….

1/2lb

Thats right folks, you read that right! 1/2 a freaking pound!

One has to wonder at the point at reading that at the scales when the woman cheerfully tells you with loads of enthusiams that you have lost half a pound if :

  • its all been worth it
  • you can punch her in the face – she clearly needs to work on her delivery
  • can you sulk off and eat your weight in bread.

Now its my first week back at slimming world so I was hoping for more that half a pound. I didnt have a goal as such, but well even a whole pound would of been preferable to that. After eating more fruit and salad than the average person, I just feel deflated by half a freaking pound!

Now I know that its still a loss and the woman has to encourage it but she was soo overly enthusiastic it was like i had lost 7lbs, maybe she thought I wouldnt come back if she wasnt little miss cheerful? I wonder if she would have done cartwheeels if I did loose 7lbs?

I didnt sulk off and eat my weight in bread…I went and had 2 satsumas and 2 bananas, followed by a jacket potatoe with chicken curry  and salad for lunch and a cheese toasty for tea and fruit through out the day. A very measured response I thought. Im still plodding on with the uni work, while trying not to eat rubbish – we have bits of this in the house….and the problem is cos im sat I want to nibble, I’m drinking loads but I cant help but wanting to eat…also nearly out of satsumas and bananas. I already ate the grapes and melon. Tomorrow is shopping day, unless I do it today to break away from the uni work, but then I’m just procrastinating more, like writing this.

Growing Up

Picture the life you dreamed of living. The person you pictured being with. Picture the job you dreamed you’d have. Are you living the life you envisioned for yourself? Are you who you wanted to be when you grew up? Open your eyes. Take a good look around you. How’s the view? Do you like what you see? Think back again to when you were little. Are you living the life you pictured for yourself? Or are you still dreaming of something even bigger?

Last night I watched Greys Anatomy, and that was the opening quote…..I never imagined growning up, I know that sounds a bit weird but I was never one of those girls at school who had their life all planned out. I didnt have my kids names picked out by the age of 10, I didnt know if I wanted to be a nurse or a teacher or a company director. I just never saw my self as getting old. I was always acedemically able, had friends and was popular, but I kinda just went with the flow. I didnt picture being with some one. I didnt envision any of those things. I wonder if this has something to do with my weight.

If you never plan long term you dont care, so the fact you’ve just ate a packet of crisps and a chocolate bar with full fat coke for breakfast escapes your notice. I’ve now got to 28, and had to relaise that not only have I grown up, but that I am going to be on this plantet for a while, so what I fuel my body with matters. I cant keep eating rubbish – I would like to state that it has been about 10 years since I have ate a packet of crisps and a chocolate bar with full fat coke for breakfast, hell I have not drunk full fat coke in about 15 years!.  I still have no idea what I want to be, when I eventually grow up…I’ve got time to work on that plan, Im working on the uni degree, and I have actually began to work on the the pile of assignments that I have been avoiding. It is a dribs and drabs process because I am not getting much sleep, but its progress, which is an improvement.  I have until the end of May, which is not long but feels like an eternity when you have been doing a degree for three years and are close the end.  Adfter that I have no idea, I was considering doing a teaching degree, or another degree…..but I seem to have setteled on doing nothing.

Along time ago I elimintated people from my life that had no reason for being there, I stopped drinking, so the people who I used to go out with nearly every night with and get drunk with, they went. The people who promised to turn up to hang out, to go see a movie or go shopping and never did, they went. The ones, who never text back or lied repeatedly they went, I didnt need the drama, there are reasons for this other than just the drama. I may seem cruel but after a while it gets boring and tiring there are only so many times you can get ready to go out, get your self excited to go out, see a film, what ever and have some one cancel because they get a better offer.

Do I like what I see?

Nope, I like parts of what I see, there are things I want to change and will change. I have a degree to finish,  a life to live, to figure out what I want to do and how to get there…..hopefully changing  myself along the way.

Restart.

Sometimes, all it takes is one conversation, one chance conversation and you change path.

This is what happened to me. I mentioned in my last post that I had left my Slimming World group, it had never occured to me to change group, but a chance conversation with a memeber from my old group brought this idea into my head. The lady in question for her own reasons had left the original group and joined a new group. She explained that the new group was alot better as it wasnt clique and was a good, supportive group.

What had I got to loose? Apart from a couple of hours sleep on a Saturday morning?

So I decided to give it ago. My boyfriend has recently changed jobs, which means that every other weekend I will be staying at his house and getting up with him early and then only have to get my self up in time for group at 8:30am. Im sure I can do this!

I’ve really enjoyed been back eating healthy, good food, my stomach is less swollen, and less painful. Plus the recipes are always tasty and filling and I love reading the cook books to find something new to try, be it a SW one or a normal one that I can adapt.

I cant wait to see what I can acheive in this group of inspirational people, I’m really excited for a change. Now if only this could be translated into my uni work, which I had little interest in. Its just one module that I cant get my head into the game with. I have to the begining of May to do it – all the peices of work and a 2000 word report, and I cant actually motivate myself. I manage to find any excuse not to do it. I have even cleaned the oven!