I like to think I live by the mantra “If it scares you – do it!”
In the past this has been running 10km, flying to Amsterdam to meet a friend on my own, going back to university at 25, so with that I would like to introduce you to my new challenge :
Swimming 22 Miles – The length of the English Channel- for Aspire the Spinal Injuries Charity, as every eight hours someone is paralysed by a Spinal Cord Injury and there is currently no cure.
I have 12 weeks in which to complete the challenge, but I’m aiming to do it in 10 with 2 weeks as a contingency plan. Here’s the scary bit – it is 1686 lengths of the pool and that works out to 168 lengths per week.
So I am a real life Dory – Just keep swimming. I start on the 12th of September and I am so excited to start, just to prove to myself that I can complete this challenge.
If you fancy sponsoring me – I have included the just giving link below just press the button, any amount no matter how big or small would be brilliant. Thank you in advance.
I will of course keep you updated with the progress
Its not that I hate people, but most of the time I cant stand to be around them. I would rather be in the garden or with a select few people than out drinking or in a crowd. I honestly never use to be like this and I have no idea what changed but I can think of nothing worse than the examples mentioned above.
So it was my Mother in Law to be’s 60th birthday tonight and I adore her, she has took me into her family as one of her own, and we where going out for a meal. Now this is something me, my partner and his parents do on a regular basis, but his brother and his partner would be joining us.
I always feel like the fat poor relation in comparison to her, and I know I shouldn’t compare because we are honestly nothing alike but its hard not to. I live in knee length shorts or jeans, I usually have mud or engine oil under my nails from helping the other half with a car, not perfectly manicured nails, tan and hair perfectly done. Don’t get me wrong I scrub up well, I straighten my hair and my make up is always tasteful, but I just feel like a bit of a failure as a girl. But the girl with the muck under her nails and who lives in shorts and no make up is the girl my other half fell for, not some made up version.
Its a weird scenario going for dinner with couples who have been together for a significant amount of time and know each other, as they always have lots of stories and things to discuss with each other, which means that you as the “youngest” couple end up kinda on the outside – is it rude if we just sit and talk to each other, when we are not being included in the conversation, and its about things that we don’t know /care about?
I had steak, jacket potato and beans, lots of beans….don’t sit next to me tomorrow. I normally have salad with it, and a small side of beans but they had no salad….how can a resturant run out of salad?? could nobody nip to Tesco??? it was nice though and I had a 1/4 of a peice of garlic bread, but it was greasy and floury so after 2 bites I didnt want any more – I no longer like greasy. I avoided the cake, but again not a big cake eater and had some fruit when we got in and felt better for this. I would of loved salad though, with the steak or chicken breast but no such luck so I had to make the best choices from a very chip heavy menu.
I hate going to the Dr’s to discuss my weight, it takes me weeks to build up the confidence just to go and speak to them. Previous experience has given me the expectation that they don’t care or see me being there as a bit of a joke.
So knowing that it was going to take me a while to build myself up to this, I booked an appointment 3 weeks ago, so that everyday I could talk myself into it. Even this morning I was going to cancel. I made sure when I booked the appointment it was with a female Dr that I felt comfortable with. I didn’t know what I wanted but help, not sure what the help was that I wanted though. The question didn’t help when she asked me what I wanted as I honestly didn’t know.
The appointment was thoroughly awful, she was asking me what exercise I did and told me that I need to do more (I already knew this), that in order to get any sort of help from them I need to loose at least 1 1/2 st, and that she would refer me to a exercise programme and just to be on the safe side check my bloods again for thyroid problems and diabetes. Oh and they will put me in their weight management clinic.
I’m not sure what I feel about all of this. As stated earlier I went in not knowing what I wanted, but 1 1/2st is a lot to loose, and I’m well aware of the amount of weight I have to loose. Now all I can think about is that number. This time though she seemed to take my concerns seriously, especially since I’ve gained 2 1/2st in 2 months and all this with out changing what I eat.
I’d like to talk about how I perceived someone today, but before I do, I’d like to state that I’m not a bitch. I may have the odd moment as your about to find out but I’m not inherently a nasty person, I was brought up that if you cant do some one a good turn, don’t do them a bad one.
Today while driving through town I saw a young girl walking hand in hand with I’m going to say her boyfriend and she looked happy, but all i could think about was “Please say I’m not as big as her, she is massive!” I immediately felt horrible about it, myself. I don’t even know this girl and I’m judging her, I’d hate for some one to judge me in that way yet here I was doing it to a perfect stranger who’s walking happily down the street while I’m sat in the car.
The point im getting towards though is as human beings we all do this, we all judge one another on some level, be it the size we are, what car we drive, what job we do. Is it not about time we stop doing it? cant we just have one day off from judging?