Frustration.

I had a funny old weigh in on Thursday, we had had no water in the house on Wednesday or Thursday so we had spent Wednesday out of the house and Thursday was pretty much the same. I arrived to group early, and was stood in line chatting to a lady who I have never spoke to before when she threw me a curve ball of a compliment “Oh you have such lovely skin” 

All I could manage was Thank you, I cant take a compliment of my other half and now I’ve got complete strangers giving me compliments. That was the only good part of group this week, the scales where not kind to me, I had gained a 1lb, so no st award. I’m beginning to wonder if every time I get near an award if I sabotage my self. I seem to recall I did this last time. 

After that I went shopping, its 2 weeks on Monday till I go on holiday so like a good ex-girl guide I am being prepared and buying bits and pieces that I need, since some of my clothing is big, or too summery for September I am replacing it with things that can take me into autumn/winter

This is what shopping for me is like:

 

While we where out I tried on 2 dresses: this one from Newlook, and this one from Simply Be, which because the waists on both of them are soo high made me look pregnant. Not really the look I was going for…… I ended up with a pair of jeans and a jumper from Primark. Exciting eh?

I did however finally manage to get a new pair of Nike’s today after months of searching, they are not the Air Max Fly Knits I wanted, but I’m not going to spend a fortune on a pair of Nikes I wont leave the house in. There are enough complaints over the unworn ones in my room already!

So I’m being good with food, trying to stay in as much as possible as I seem to have better losses when I am home more, because I am more in control of my food and what goes into it. Plus I have notice that when I am out I can be charged any where between 30p-70p for a single piece of fruit! Scandalous!  I am aiming for 3lbs this week, I’d love more but well we will see when I stand on those scales on Thursday. Oh on a side not I get my B12 injection on Tuesday which I am so excited about as by about 2:30pm I really need a nap and I get up at 11am, I have no energy to do anything at the minuet and my nails are breaking as well as my hair. So I really want to see what a properly functioning body can do 🙂 

Size Confusion?

So I’m nearly 1st down, hopefully this week will be the week that I get my 1st award. I can live in hope?

But I seem to be having a issue with clothing, its a bit of a issue I have been having for the past couple of weeks, my weight seems to be coming off my stomach and my chest. I am thrilled about the first, not loving the second too much, but I have noticed that bras that where a little tight are now a little bit looser which I will concede is a good thing. 

Being a girl there is nothing worse than walking around with baggy looking clothes on, but I cant keep affording to buy new clothes every couple of weeks, I have kept jeans and other nice items such as dresses from when I have been smaller but its the every day items that are also becoming a issue, the basics – tights, knickers ect.

I cant seem to figure out what size I am. I can get into a 18, but for some reason my brain doesn’t seem to communicate this to me and I still walk out of the shop with a 22, which results in the walking around in baggy clothes issue! I’m beginning to resign my self to the idea that maybe I should just get used to the idea of looking like a “sack of spuds” as my gran would say.

To make matters worse the seasons are changing, the new seasons fashions are coming into stores and I am wearing clothing that is anything up to 2 sizes too big! 

Does any one else have this issue? Any one have any ideas on how to get my correct size?

 

 

 

Absentee?

So I’ve been a bit absent lately, not on purpose but sometimes life takes over and finding the time to write a little blog post never seems to present itself. I know I can write on my phone or iPad but those apps just seem well and truly horrible. 

I have been busy, but I have not really done alot, Due to my ankle still being tender I still cant walk brilliantly nor drive as it irritates it and it then swells back up which just ends up with me being in a RICE loop. I have been trying though as I am not one of those people who can just sit on my backside for 6 weeks till its apparently healed. 

I got weighed on Thursday and I had lost 3 1/2 lbs, I wasnt trying to loose that much but I was impressed with myself but I feel as though this week I may have self sabotaged myself. I’ve stayed at my boyfriends and with that has gone my fruit bowl, whIich I nibble on through out the day. I have eaten large 800g bread for breakfast with fruit but no where near what I normally do. When we have gone out, I’ve made sensible choices as always and I’ve nipped home on a night to get some fruit and make a salad to accompany tea, but I am worried. Only next Thursday will tell. 

I was watching a men’s triathlon, now I’ve never watched a Triathlon before and I was rather enthralled. Here where this group of men swimming, riding and then running against each other. Some where better swimmers, others runners and some fantastic riders and some where just good all rounders. Well it got me thinking, I want to do that. I want to have a go, I might not be very good, I wont finish first, hell I wont finish half way but as long as I finished I would be really chuffed with myself. So that is my challenge for next year. I want to take part in a triathlon. 

I know nothing of training for such events, nor even where to find one so some work is going to have to be done. But I go away 3 weeks today. I will be joining a gym 4 weeks today. So hopefully this goal will become achievable

Oh and if any one has any hints or training tips for triathlons out there, I’m all ears! . 

Long Weeks

Have you ever had one of those weeks where 7 days feels more like 7 months? That is how this week has been. 

I got weighed on Thursday and found that had gained half a lb, I was disappointed that I had gained but also really relieved that it was only 1/2 a lb and not more given everything I had been through the previous week. 

This weekend was a bit different, I surprisingly managed to get the weekend off. Normally this never happens in fact in the last four years it has never happened. I didn’t know what to do with myself talk about a loose end, so I did what every girl does when she doesnt know what to do, I went to annoy my boyfriend. 

I’ve spent most of the weekend with him and his parents, we had tea together on Friday night and I made sensible choices, chicken with salad. He stayed at mine both nights to keep me company and its weird because I am used to staying at his house but him being in my zone on a morning is still weird. 

Yesterday we went to Middlesbrough shopping, this is my favourite activity but I couldnt do very much as walking on my ankle is still very very painful, to the point that I am going to go back to the Dr to ask them to double check it. I have previously injured my ankle (the same one, repeatedly) and usually after a week walking on it is bearable but it feels like it has been hit by a sledgehammer repeatedly and the swelling is not going down. 

My food choices this weekend have all being really good, I’ve picked things that have been on plan and when we have eaten out I’ve made choices that match with slimming world. Although I love steak I have to say I am getting a little bit fed up of eating it in restaurants, because chicken always seems to come smothered in sauce of some kind and I dont mind syning the steak as advised by slimming world on-line but something different would be nice. 

After The Good….

Comes the bad….

I had a lovely weekend away with my boyfriend at my parents caravan. We went to York for the day and had a wander around all the shops there and a lovely meal in Nandos. I made sensible food choices, I know Nando’s is not the best for its food, but I tried my best. I also found out they will cook their chicken plain with out skin. My lovely boyfriend also bought me a penguin, I love them, and have a small collection which is rapidly growing.

Due to the tail end of  Bertha, we had to come home early on Sunday as it was already pouring down with rain. So we drove home in some pretty nasty rain. While on route home we called home and arranged to meet my mum and gran at Middlesbrough.

After a lovely lunch we had a wander around the shops, I dont think we bought anything but while in boots sampling the perfumes, me and my mum who was pushing my grand mothers wheel chair managed to collide and I ended up the looser. A trip to the local walk in centre advised that I had a possible fractured ankle. Yippy! 

Monday arrived and this was a day I had been dreading as gran was scheduled to have her cataracts removed. I was good and packed a bag with fruit and healthy snacks so that while me and mum where waiting I had healthy things to nibble on. I bought a cold bottle of diet coke while there just because it was a warm day but otherwise I was on plan. I was on plan the rest of the day having chicken salad and then lemon and herb chicken salad with vegetables for tea. But gran took a turn for the worse at about 10pm and had to be admitted to hospital.

This meant that I spent from 11pm Monday evening – till 7am Tuesday morning, in the Accident and Emergency Department and then Emergency Assessment Unit. on the way home to grab a couple of hours sleep we stopped off at McDonald’s to get a drink which turned into a bacon roll. After less than 5 hours sleep, and completing some jobs that needed to be done at home we went back to the hospital where they where happy to discharge gran after a wait. By now it was heading towards 4pm, and we where all hungry so my mum got KFC on the way home, I was that hungry I ate it. The fries, the skin on the chicken, the beans and I didnt care I was the tired and hungry I didn’t care. But now I have had a bit of sleep I am getting a bit worried about Thursdays weigh in.

I don’t want to write the week off and just eat crap for the rest of the week because that won’t help matters but I know that I do not have time to be able to pull the week around. It will be more damage limitations if that at this stage in the week. 

Good Things

Good things come to those who wait, isn’t that what they say? Well I’ve been waiting a very very long time. Tomorrow I go away for the weekend with my boyfriend for the weekend, this is the first time we have properly gone away on our own. Not to visit family or friends ect, but just the two of us, together. I’m rather excited about it, we are going to York for the day on Saturday, and out for tea tomorrow night.

There is more good news, though today while at my class I got a surprise phone call from one of the lads at uni, he was asking me if I knew that our uni results had been published. This came as a bit of a shocker. 

Due to the fact that our lecturer went on sick leave from October till March and the substitute didn’t start till November, then we ended up with 2 of them, with our original leaving at the end of April with the substitute thinking he had taught us the assignment work, and vice versa. Needless to say no one had and the uni had to extend our assignment because we couldn’t practically do it, we didn’t have the skill set. This means that 2 of our 4 units have been deferred till the summer boards sit in September and we don’t get re-sits, but we were all expecting to get our results then. So the phone call today came as a bit of a shock as. 

Well, I got weighed and turns out that I’d need not worry because I had lost 2 lbs, taking my total to 9lbs in 4 weeks and I got my Bronze body magic award today so I was super happy. I’m going to stay on plan while I’m away over the weekend as I dont want 2 nights away to possibly undo some of my good work. I had to sit through group like a excited child at christmas, when all I wanted to do was check my results!

 

Proud!

 When I finally got home and managed to log on to the uni systems ( have you noticed, you only ever have trouble getting in when you really need to be in, in a hurry!) I found my result and it turned out that I had got 66 in one module and 80 in the other. To say that I was ecstatic would be a understatement.

I have to wait till possibly the end of September to get the rest of my results but just to know that I was able to complete those modules with those grades has given me hopes that I will be complete the other 2 with either the same if not better. 

To gym or not to gym?

That is the question….

I’ve been toying with the idea of joining a gym for a while now, I’m the kind of girl that likes the outdoors. I like fresh air, changing scenery, the wind in my face, not such a massive fan of the rain but I bought a waterproof to hopefully solve that. But its August which means that come next month the nights will start to get a bit darker and the days a bit shorter. 

From a safety point of view wandering around the streets of my little town may not be my best idea, for various reasons not just the obvious of “I don’t want to be attacked/mugged” but also a health point of view. So I’ve been considering a gym.

Ideally I would start when I come back from holiday at the end of September, this also coincides with my return to university which has me worried that I may be taking on too much. Although my course is only a night course I have to do a lot of reading and work during the day and the rest of the week. So then I counteracted this with “Oh well just get up earlier and go” but then how do I get around Gran, if she wakes up and I’m not there she may panic, or what heaven forbid she has a accident – these are the same thoughts I have about going during the day. 

We used to have a lovely gym, it had a pool and through a glass wall divide next to it was a lovely cafe / restaurant that non-members could frequent. I was going to join this gym as Gran liked to go and have lunch there, which meant that I could leave money at the till for her drinks and while I went to the gym and knowing that she as at least safe to some extent and in the same building she could crochet or read. Well the normal happened, it was took over by some big multinational gym and the took out the pool, the cafe and all the other nice bits. In fact we have no private gyms in the town with a pool – I find this amazing, in the surrounding towns there are about 2/3, but its not economical to drive there just for a gym.

So I dont know what to do, I know I need to shift my backside but finding a realistic way of doing so is proving elusive to me. 

 

Forward Thinking?

I’m slightly concerned about this weeks weigh in, no idea why but I am.

Maybe it is to do with the soya cream, the fact that I have eaten more syns this week than in past weeks(this I am blaming on the lack of contraceptive pills so my normal hormones are raging and I just want to eat!) or maybe just the hormones? 

Last week I thought I had done horribly but I had managed to some how lost weight, I cant get lucky 2 weeks in a row, I’m just not that type of girl. So I am trying my hardest to eat all free and super free as much as possible and be careful in choosing my syns. I want them to mean something from a eating point of view, not just eating for the sake of eating. 

 

I’ve also been thinking about the future, I eat loads of vegetables along the lines of peppers, cucumbers, lettuces ect so today I bought a mini green house. I know that I am too late for this year but I can put it away for next year and go from there. So hopefully this time next year I will have a crop of home grown vegetables 🙂

 

The Little Things

Its said in a relationship that its the little things that make you fall in love, and its true. 

My boyfriend and I have been together a little over 8 months and we said “I love you” when it was appropriate, but even now every day I fall more and more in love with him. 

We are not a flashy showy couple, we don’t do big romantic gestures – he doesn’t turn up at my door with flowers (I’d ask him what he had been up to if he did!) and I don’t buy him gifts ect but we do do nice little things for each other. 

Friday night I went to the supermarket and bought some nice steak for tea tonight, I told him of this and he said he would get some bits and bobs to go with it. This morning he text me to ask me if I wanted anything from the supermarket as he was popping there, and the next thing I knew he text me to say that he had bought us something lovely for dessert. When he picked me up, he had a really cheeky happy look on his face as though he was up to something – which instantly gets a girl suspicious- turn out he had bought this lactose intolerant girl Alpro Soya Single Cream 🙂

So as we are sitting down to eat our dessert after the lovely steak that he had cooked for us, I ended up in tears because he had bought me Soya Cream!  No man has ever done any thing that nice for me.   

Confidence

I’d like to talk about confidence, what gives you confidence? Where do you draw your confidence from. What makes you walk a bit taller, stand a bit straighter? 

During a jokey conversation last night with my other half, I said that I only just had the confidence to show him my wobbly bits and his reply was my lovely bits, but this got me thinking about confidence, where do women get it from. 

Some women seem to naturally have it, they can walk into a room and command it, every pair of eyes is on them, while others are shrinking violets sitting at the back hoping no one notices them. 

I also think confidence is fluid, it depends on the situation. For instance, if your in your comfort zone, talking about something you know well you will give off confidence and people will react to this. For some people confidence is as simple as wearing a pair of heels, getting a new hair cut or wearing a dress or suit. 

For me, I draw my confidence from the little things, my jeans fitting well, knowing I can do something well, that I am a good daughter, granddaughter, sister and girlfriend. That I can do anything I set my mind to, some times its as simple as applying my make up just to give me a boost.